After Eight Months...

To begin: I know this post is extremely long, but it's pretty important to me. It's different than every single post I've made, but it would mean a lot if you put time into reading it.

This post was going to be one showcasing my outfit from last night, but I realized that it really wasn't worth it. I'm not saying that this blog isn't worth it, but at times, I feel like I'm always saying the same thing with my posts. There's a formula: take photos of your outfit, introduce the post with a trend, explain how you showcased that trend in your outfit, and complete it with an ending statement that inspires readers to go out and try that trend. Some of my posts have been successful with this "formula", but I sometimes feel like most of it is dull and all of my views just come from people clicking on the post to just scan through the photos. They may start to read it, but maybe hardly anyone actually puts time into reading the posts I put time into writing. This may be all in my head, and maybe people love to read my blog on a daily basis, but I recently realized that [most of it] is all the same. I use the formula, and I get a few comments and the same amount of likes for each post. There's not much variety, and maybe my readers don't get bored of this consistency, but I know I do. 

What I'm trying to say is that I want to make a change. I started this whole thing because my mom and sister told me I should. I wanted to do something fashion related, and starting a club at my school was too difficult (it's a sports based school, we practically hate the arts). My mom suggested that I should start a fashion blog, so I did last November. It started as a thing I didn't really care about -- it was only on Tumblr, I only had 10 followers for two straight months, and I only took photos with my iPhone. Now that I look back at those posts and read them, all I can do is cringe, but also realize how much I've grown. I started gaining more followers on Tumblr (I now have 150), I started to take quality photos, and then I decided to move it to a more professional (and free!) domain, aka Blogger. I actually put effort into my outfits and posts, and I was feeling way more achieved after a few people at my school told me that they always read my fashion blog whenever I update it. I did feel successful. But for about three months, nothing changed. I may have gained only five followers on here in that time span, and hardly no one is recognizing the work I put into this. After reading the several stories of people starting a blog just for fun that soon turn into careers, I felt inspired to do the same. And just today, I realized that I was not on that path. Some famous bloggers get recognized in the first month that they start blogging. Some have thousands of followers, even hundreds of thousands, and it seems like they just have a natural talent with gaining connections and getting attention from the blogging world and the general public. I then realized that it's almost impossible to make it in the blogging world. You need to have a unique voice, a good eye for how to get viewers and fans, and hell, you even have to have a good enough physical appearance. If people don't like the way you look, they won't like your posts. It's that sad but also that simple. I like to think that my posts are worthy of views and unique enough for people to notice them, but maybe they're really not. People like to see fresh faces that write different and inspiring posts. Sadly, I may not be one of those fresh faces. They don't want to see the same thing every time. They want variety, but also more than that. They want posts that they've never seen before, and not just by the same blogger. The blogging world is huge, and 80% of this world may be writing the exact same thing. I may be part of that 80%.

After reading the hundreds of articles in magazines like Nylon and Teen Vogue about the new, up and coming fashion bloggers that already have the hearts of important people and companies, I noticed something. None of them say that they are strictly a fashion blog. One blogger I just discovered, that goes by the blog name Shine By Three (her name is Margaret Zhang), does exactly this. She combines her thoughts on fashion with her own experiences, which I believe is what makes them unique. People can dress the same way, but people cannot have the same experiences. This is what makes bloggers stand out, and this is what my posts are lacking. So I'm going to make a change. I'm going to make every post meaningful by connecting it to my own life, or even just the lives of others. Even changing my backdrop can make all the difference (I know no one is inspired by the same window in my room or the same car in my driveway). Instead of just talking about fashion, I'm going to discuss my own personal inspirations, revelations, and experiences that I want to be heard. I might even change my domain to Squarespace, which is expensive, but I believe that it's worth it. Making it in this world requires effort. 

But then I also realized something else, something completely contradicting to what I just said above. Today, I was reading Rookie Mag online, and I stumbled upon this one article that is specifically about getting your writing/art published (which you can read here). It did pertain to me because I have tried to get my poetry published (which I have failed miserably at, I literally submitted my work to 20+ places), and I have also gotten my photography published in two journals. Right after I finished the article, I also realized that it pertains to this blog as well. The article explains how it takes time to get your work published, or even noticed after it's published. It says how it's okay if people do not notice your talent at first, because the feeling of self-achievement by knowing that you wrote an excellent piece is just enough in the beginning. It quotes Ira Glass, who says, "For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not [...] If you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions." This is the best advice I've heard in years. I realized that I need to keep writing for me, and that's the entire reason I started this blog. I'm only 17. I don't need money or a career just yet. I write these posts because I love writing about fashion. Writing for this blog made me realize that I want to major in journalism. It's one of the few things I absolutely love doing, and I may realize that some of my work sucks. But I'm going to keep doing it, because I know it will get better, just as Glass says. But that doesn't change my plan -- I'm still going to make a change. But that change is mainly for me. Writing about the things that interest me instead of following a silly formula will make me feel better as a writer, and maybe a few extra followers and recognitions from important people will come along. It's a tough time for me to gain blogger fame -- I'm still in high school, and I have to start applying to colleges soon and worrying about AP classes. I'm not a superwoman like Tavi Gevinson, who already had three Rookie Magazines published by the time she was 18. I have a normal teenage life, but I also happen to write for this blog. I wish it was my entire life, but sadly it can't be. I know that the time to make it in this world is not now, but I know it's coming. I know that if I keep writing, I will get better, and that someone will notice the talent that I have. For now, I'm going to write for me. And I hope you guys enjoy that just as much as what I've been writing before.